Quotes and jokes

G'day folks,

Because I don't have so much to report, I'm gonna annoy you guys a bit with some quotes and aviation jokes. Probably you already heard them, but too bad, then you'll hear them a second, third or fourth time.

If you have other aviation quotes or jokes to share, pls don't forget to subscribe them in the 'reaction' box.



* The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

* The average pilot, despite the sometimes swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don't involve anyone else then the bird he flies.

* Sign seen at refueling point: WARNING: Do not operate any radio transmitter within 100 metres of the pumps. If your life is not worth anything..... the fuel is!

* ATC called up a flight one day and asked:” What is your position now?”
Back came the reply: ”I’m a First Officer now, but hope springs eternal!”

* And sometime ATC gets the opportunity to fire back. During a busy period, an irritate captain called up and said: ”We’ve been waiting twenty minutes to take off. What the hell will happen here in a year or two when traffic doubles?”
“Then you’ll have to wait forty minutes, won’t you?”

* Tower: "November 2115L, are you a Cessna?"
2115L: "No, sir...I am a male Hispanic."

* Tower: "AF33, you are three miles to touchdown, helicopter traffic now one mile ahead of you; reduce speed to 90 knots"

AF1733 ( sounding a little miffed): "Sir, do you know what the stall speed of this here C-130 is?!"

Tower (without the slightest hesitation): "No, but if you ask your co-pilot, he can probably tell you."

* While taxiing out in sequence behind a Lufthansa airliner at Frankfurt, a C-130 crew noticed an orange "Remove before flight" streamer hanging out of the Lufthansa nose wheel well (their nose gear locking pin was still installed). Not wanting to cause too much embarrassment by going thru the controller, the 130 crew simply called the Lufthansa aircraft on the tower frequency: "Lufthansa aircraft, Herky 23." No reply.

They repeated the transmission and again there was no reply. Instead, the Lufthansa pilot called the tower and asked the tower to tell the Herky crew that "the professional pilots of Lufthansa do not engage in unprofessional conversations over the radio."

The 130 pilot quickly replied, "Frankfurt tower, can you please relay to the professional pilots of the Lufthansa aircraft that their nose gear pin is still installed?"

* In an attempt to keep the passengers from standing or moving around before taxiing was completed, the purser of a SouthWest flight said over the PA:

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Our pilots FLY much better than they DRIVE so please remain seated until the captain finishes taxiing and brings the aircraft to a complete stop at the terminal..."

* One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said: "What a cute little plane. Did you make it yourself?"

Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."

* This flight instructor got bored on the cross country flight back to the departure airport and decided to surprise the student by pulling his throttle all the way back and saying: ”Well, I simulated an engine failure, what are you going to do?” Without much hesitation he pushed the throttle back in and continued the flight. “Why did you do that ?” asked the flight instructor. “I simulated fixing it” ,replied the student.

 * The only thing worse than a captain who never flew copilot is a copilot who was once a captain.


* Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"


* Cessna 4321: Jones Tower, this is Cessna 4321, student pilot, I’m out of fuel.
Tower:  Roger Cessna 4321, don’t panic and reduce airspeed to best glide speed. Do you have the airfield in sight??!!??
Cessna 4321: Uh....... Tower, I’m on the south ramp and I just want to know where the fuel truck is.

16:23 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (5) |  Facebook |


whaha :p je ne snap pas ze allemaal :p maar diene laatst vind ik toch wel een fijntje ^^

Gepost door: Floes | 25-08-08

Lol, ik vind diene Cherokee vs DC-8 het beste :-p

Gepost door: 3lke | 26-08-08

Ik stem ook voor de Cherokee !!!

Gepost door: Alex | 27-08-08

2-1 for the cherokee :-p

Gepost door: 3lke | 27-08-08

Me too I vote for the Cherokee but I also like the one of the Lufthansa Airliner versus C-13.

Gepost door: mommy | 27-08-08

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