31-08-07

jokes

I deserve a first class seat

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
Cool
What was the problem before?

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot
  Tong uitstekend
I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said "Hi Jack." He shot me...

(to hijack = kapen)

00:52 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (4) |  Facebook |

 

pleen

00:19 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (2) |  Facebook |

21-08-07

poems

The True and Beautiful—The Sky

Sometimes gentle, sometimes capricious, sometimes awful, never the same for two months together; almost human in its passions, almost spiritual in its tenderness, almost Divine in its infinity.

—Bayard Ruskin 

Because I fly 

Because I fly
I laugh more than other men
I look up an see more than they,
I know how the clouds feel,
What it's like to have the blue in my lap,
to look down on birds,
to feel freedom in a thing called the stick...

who but I can slice between God's billowed legs,
and feel then laugh and crash with His step
Who else has seen the unclimbed peaks?
The rainbow's secret?
The real reason birds sing?
Because I Fly,
I envy no man on earth.

— Anonymous

IMPRESSIONS OF A PILOT

Flight is freedom in its purest form,
To dance with the clouds which follow a storm;

To roll and glide, to wheel and spin,
To feel the joy that swells within;

To leave the earth with its troubles and fly,
And know the warmth of a clear spring sky;

Then back to earth at the end of a day,
Released from the tensions which melted away.

Should my end come while I am in flight,
Whether brightest day or darkest night;

Spare me your pity and shrug off the pain,
Secure in the knowledge that I'd do it again;

For each of us is created to die,
And within me I know,
I was born to fly.

— Gary Claud Stokor

THE COPILOT

I am the copilot. I sit on the right.
It's up to me to be quick and bright;
I never talk back for I have regrets,
But I have to remember what the Captain forgets.

I make out the Flight Plan and study the weather,
Pull up the gear, stand by to feather;
Make out the mail forms and do the reporting,
And fly the old crate while the Captain is courting.

I take the readings, adjust the power,
Put on the heaters when we're in a shower;
Tell him where we are on the darkest night,
And do all the bookwork without any light.

I call for my Captain and buy him cokes;
I always laugh at his corny jokes,
And once in awhile when his landings are rusty
I always come through with, "By gosh it's gusty!"

All in all I'm a general stooge,
As I sit on the right of the man I call "Scrooge";
I guess you think that is past understanding,
But maybe some day he will give me a landing.

— Keith Murray

http://www.skygod.com/quotes/poetry.html

15:06 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (2) |  Facebook |

08-08-07

McHumor

flying_cartoon_3160
pilot_cartoon_7364
passenger_cartoon_5224

20:38 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (2) |  Facebook |

06-08-07

Hoe je voorbereiden op de selectie van SFA?

Ik krijg nu vaak de vraag, “hoe je voorbereiden op de selectie van SFA?”. Ik kan daar niet echt op antwoorden aangezien dat voor iedereen anders is. Ben je goed in fysica maar niet zo goed in Engels, dan duik je beter in een ‘Engels voor Dummies’, of omgekeerd als je niet zo goed bent in fysica maar wel in Engels, bestel je beter het aanbevolen boek: ‘theory and problems of college physics’. Dit boek is in het Nederlands, Frans en Engels verkrijgbaar, maar ik raad iedereen aan om de Engelse versie te kiezen, aangezien de fysica test in het Engels is en dat de vraagstukken uit dat boek komen. Voor fysica kun je ook een week lang, een cursus in het schoolgebouw zelf volgen. Daar worden alle onderwerpen behandeld die aan bod komen in de fysica test. Die cursus heeft ook als voordeel dat je het schoolgebouw al een beetje leert kennen en een heel pak van je medekandidaten waardoor je op de testen zelf stukken minder gestrest bent.  
Voorbereiden voor Engels is voor iedereen verschillend. Ikzelf heb gewoon een maand lang alleen maar Engelse boeken gelezen. Anderen hebben hun oud grammatica boek van onder een dikke laag stof gehaald, aangezien je 100 grammatica oefeningen krijgt, meer bepaald over de tijden. Deze is
multiple choice.

Je voorbereiden op de COMPASS test, is al iets moeilijker. Het enige wat je kunt doen is op de site van ‘epst’, de IPASS test eens maken en je hoofdrekenen oefenen, vooral de staartdelingen zijn moeilijk.

Voor de psychologische testen kun je je uiteraard niet echt voorbereiden. Wees assertief en mondig, zorg dat je goed weet hoe jezelf in elkaar zit, wat je motivatie is en weet op zijn minst 3 goede en 3 slechte karaktereigenschappen vanbuiten. Denk rustig na, let op je houding, zorg dat je fatsoenlijk gekleed bent en alles komt wel goed.

De moeilijkste is de scan skill test (de 737-200 full flight simulator). Aan deze test mag je alleen maar deelnemen als je voor de andere testen geslaagd bent. Deze test is dan wel de moeilijkste, het is wel de leukste van de hoop. Slaap goed uit, wees alert bij de briefing, en vooral SLA NIET IN PANIEK! Blijf rustig, ook al gaat het mis, want mis zal het gaan, geloof me ;-)

 

Veel succes iedereen,

12:31 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (2) |  Facebook |

05-08-07

how to irritate your crewstaff...

1. Make race car noises while you are taxiing
2. Blow your nose and show everybody the contents of your Kleenex.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and yell: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a small world afterall" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies
6. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch! Bad touch!"
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your flightcase and, while peering inside ask;" Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to every flight crew member. wear yours upside down.
10. Stare emotionless at the circuit breaker panel and not say anything.
11. When parked at the gate pull and yank at the door and act embarrassed when it opens to the outside.
12. Lean over to the FO and whisper; "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone on the flightdeck and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: "Flatulence"!
15. At FL 350 tell them you're getting dizzy and ask if they can open a window.
16. While buckled up, do Thai Chi exercises.
17. Stare and grin at the flight attendants for awhile and then say: "I've got new socks on."
18. While taxiing moan "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness"
19. Give religious tracts to each crewmember.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the captain you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter: "gotta go ,gotta go!", then sigh and say "oops".
23. Show passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while pushing buttons on the overhead panel.
25. Holler: "Touchdown" when landing.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Body Parts" on the side.
27. Stare at the FE and say: "You're one of them".
28. Burp and say: "mmm,   tasty!"
29. Stare at your thumb and say: "I think it's getting larger." 
30. Ask the crew if you can push some buttons for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to other people "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the cockpit is silent ask: "Is that the TCAS going off?".
34. Practice your harmonica.
35. Shadow box in the jet way.
36. Say: "Ding" when reaching each assigned flight level.
37. Wear X ray specs and leer suggestive at the flight attendants.
38. Say: " I wonder what this will do" and pull the cabin oxygen emergency switch.
39. Listen to the walls with a stethoscope.
40. Make explosion sounds when somebody pushes a button.
41. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
42. Chew on a bunch of peanuts and ask: " Wanna see wha in my mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings
45. Announce with a demonic voice and rolling eyes: "I must find a more suitable host body".

 

22:05 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (6) |  Facebook |

 

landing2

 

 

 

22:04 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (0) |  Facebook |

You know you are a pilot when...

You're driving along in your car and you look for emergency landing spots.

You get in your car, put the keys in the ignition, and reach for the checklist.

You drive off a cliff, and your last words are "Gear up!"

You pull back when your car hits 60 MPH.

You absentmindedly haul up on the parking brake lever when slowing for your driveway.

Searching for "carb heat" on a cold, foggy morning, you accidentally yank a knob off the car radio.

You are shocked back to reality when your car doesn't turn left as you hit the clutch.

You feel compelled to look up every time you hear an airplane.

When you see a neglected, run down airplane, you want to "take it home and make it all better".

You think about airplanes more than you think about sex.

You believe that it's OK to skip church on Sunday mornings to go flying because you are sure God would understand.

You would rather read a Flying magazine than look at a Playboy.

You have several months of aviation magazines and trade-a-planes next to the toilet in your bathroom.

You can find something to like about every airplane you have ever seen, even the ugly ones!

You have more airplane pictures in your work space than pictures of your kids.

You have a "Remove Before Flight" streamer on your car keys.

You have an airplane screensaver or mouse pad. OR BOTH!

When you visit a new city by car you drive out to the GA airport, "Just to look around"

You drive your car with your handheld navcom on.

You always take your flightbag wherever you go, "just in case".

You drive your car with an approach plate clipped to the steering wheel.

You installed a quick drain valve on your auto's fuel tank.

You make sure your tank is topped off before you drive every morning.

You roll down the window of your car and yell, "clear" before starting.

You wear your David Clarks hooked up to your Sony Walkman while jogging.


21:39 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (0) |  Facebook |

03-08-07

 

skywards

 

19:56 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (5) |  Facebook |

Quotes

I feel compelled to look up every time I hear an airplane

 

Sure I can fly,..euhm…it has wings, doesn’t it?

 

Don’t forget to keep the blue side of your artificial horizon up.

 

Fuel in the tanks is limited. Gravity is forever.

 

In aviation, everything is accomplished through teamwork, until something goes wrong. Then the pilot gets all the blame.

 

I hate to wake up and find my co-pilot asleep.

 

Gravity is bullshit and the earth sucks.

 

It’s said that two wrong things do not make a right, but two wrights do make an airplane.

 

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.

 

I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning.

 

The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

-          If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies

-          If the ATC screws up, the pilot dies

 

The owner’s guide that comes with a $ 500 refrigerator makes more sense than the one that comes with a $ 50 million airliner.

 

The only thing that scares me about flying is the drive to the airport.

 

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before the bag of luck is empty.

 

Flying is not dangerous, crashing is dangerous.

 

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

 

The trick lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

 

Aviation is worse than dope.

 

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

 

Dad, I think I left my heart up there.

 

Problems look mighty small from 150 miles up.

 

No one regards what is before his or her feet; we’ll look at the starts.

 

For most people, the sky is the limit, to those who love aviation, the sky is home.

 

The Wright brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility.

 

Caution: a cape does not enable user to fly!

 

ATC: "Climb like you're life depends on it ... because it does."

 

Pilot to ATC: "American Two-Twenty, Eneey, meeny, miney, moe, how do you hear my radio?"

 

Whether we call it sacrifice, or poetry, or adventure, it’s always the same voice that calls.

 

Why fly? Simple, I’m not happy unless there is some room between me and the ground.

 

Pilots track their lives by the number of hours in the air, as if any other kind of time isn’t worth noting.

19:50 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (0) |  Facebook |

Wat staat er mij te wachten?

Phase I

Theoretical instruction at the SFA training center at Brussels airport.
ATPL theoretical examination (Belgian CAA)


Program:
The subjects of the courses in order to prepare the students for the final ATPL theoretical examination organized by the Belgian Civil Aviation Authorities, are as follows:

  • Air law and regulations
  • Human Performance and limitations
  • Basic principles of flight
  • Aircraft general knowledge
  • Meteorology and Climatology
  • General VFR-IFR navigation and Radio navigation
  • Communication
  • Operational procedures
  • Aircraft performance, weight and balance, flight planning

Phase II - part 1

Practical training in our training center at Falcon Field, Arizona
Skill test for CPL-license

Phase II - part 2

Practical training in Antwerp, Belgium
Skill test for ME-IR license

Phase III

Airline Career Preparation Program (ACPP) at the SFA training center at Brussels airport

 

The total duration of our integrated ATPL training is approximately 77 weeks

17:32 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (2) |  Facebook |

Selection procedure

Physics test: 

Based on the knowledge required at the end of secondary school

Contains 20 questions who have to be solved correctly within 1h30min.

Psychometric test

A psychometric test of 2 hours will be performed in English

The test consists of six tests which have been developed to check some of the key aptitude areas for the pilot profession

No flying experience is required to perform well in the tests

  • Control: A compensation task looking at basic hand/foot/eye co-ordination
  • Slalom: A tracking task looking at hand/eye co-ordination
  • Mathematics: A test of basic applied mathematical understanding and speed
  • Memory: Accuracy of short-term memory recall and ability to 'chunk' information
  • Task Manager: A test of the candidate's ability to scan the screen and manage concurrent tasks accurately and quickly
  • Orientation: Instrument interpretation, comprehension and spatial orientation

Psychological test

The goal of this test is to make sure the candidate has the required profile to be a future airline captain

It consists of a personality test and a team work evaluation

An English test - written and spoken

As all courses are given in English and as all aviation communications are performed in English a good passive and active knowledge is required

Scan Skill test:

This a special test performed in a full flight simulator that will assess the learning curve of the candidate. Prior flying experience is not required

Final interview
het grote moment waar je na een gesprekje met de toelatingscommissie een ‘je bent er helaas niet door’ of een ‘je bent geslaagd’ krijgt. Er viel een kleine 10.000 ton van mijn schouders af toen ik dat laatste te horen kreeg. De september klas zit jammer genoeg vol dus ben ik in de volgende klas, die in november begint, geplaatst. Ik ben helaas tot nu toe het enige meisje van de klas, maar hé, ik sta men mannetje wel

17:23 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (2) |  Facebook |