05-08-07

how to irritate your crewstaff...

1. Make race car noises while you are taxiing
2. Blow your nose and show everybody the contents of your Kleenex.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and yell: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a small world afterall" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies
6. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch! Bad touch!"
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your flightcase and, while peering inside ask;" Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to every flight crew member. wear yours upside down.
10. Stare emotionless at the circuit breaker panel and not say anything.
11. When parked at the gate pull and yank at the door and act embarrassed when it opens to the outside.
12. Lean over to the FO and whisper; "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone on the flightdeck and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: "Flatulence"!
15. At FL 350 tell them you're getting dizzy and ask if they can open a window.
16. While buckled up, do Thai Chi exercises.
17. Stare and grin at the flight attendants for awhile and then say: "I've got new socks on."
18. While taxiing moan "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness"
19. Give religious tracts to each crewmember.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the captain you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter: "gotta go ,gotta go!", then sigh and say "oops".
23. Show passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while pushing buttons on the overhead panel.
25. Holler: "Touchdown" when landing.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Body Parts" on the side.
27. Stare at the FE and say: "You're one of them".
28. Burp and say: "mmm,   tasty!"
29. Stare at your thumb and say: "I think it's getting larger." 
30. Ask the crew if you can push some buttons for them.
31. Wear a hand puppet and talk to other people "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the cockpit is silent ask: "Is that the TCAS going off?".
34. Practice your harmonica.
35. Shadow box in the jet way.
36. Say: "Ding" when reaching each assigned flight level.
37. Wear X ray specs and leer suggestive at the flight attendants.
38. Say: " I wonder what this will do" and pull the cabin oxygen emergency switch.
39. Listen to the walls with a stethoscope.
40. Make explosion sounds when somebody pushes a button.
41. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
42. Chew on a bunch of peanuts and ask: " Wanna see wha in my mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings
45. Announce with a demonic voice and rolling eyes: "I must find a more suitable host body".

 

22:05 Gepost door 3lke in Algemeen | Permalink | Commentaren (6) |  Facebook |

Commentaren

Verdorie, ik ga met plezier in uw kist stappen als je al die tips naar de letter gaat opvolgen.

Gepost door: J. | 07-08-07

en de looping niet vergeten, zeker?? ;-)

Gepost door: 3lke | 07-08-07

Elke, je bent een tip vergeten: "steek een potlood in je neus, en headbang op het instrument panel"

Gepost door: Floes | 09-08-07

*roll-eyes* ik zal het onthouden ;-)

Gepost door: 3lke | 09-08-07

zitte er wel enkele tussen waarmee je de reputatie van grappige cpt kan opdoen denk ik :p, maar as F0 zouk ik het toch niet proberen :p

Gepost door: Sam | 10-08-07

oh, wat humor af en toe :p kan geen kwaad, kan geen kwaad ;-)

Gepost door: 3lke | 10-08-07

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